1. They will use you as their muse.
Anything and everything will be tried out on you before doing it themselves. For example, running into tree hedges dressed in snow gear.
2. Bringing home boys will never be a positive experience.
You think its bad enough having to introduce a boy to your dad? Try having four older brothers.
3. Despite what many may think, you will more than likely not grow up to be very tough.
Taking me out in waves and saying you will lift me over them, only for you to dive under them while I get taken out as you use me as a shield, will not make me tough. It will make me scared to go out past my ankles at the beach until the age of twelve. Oh, this also counts for being held under water in the pool.
4. Pool is much more fun when you’re actually playing it and not just tied to the pool table.
Or washing line.
5. Mattresses and sleeping bags being pulled out does not mean a sleep over is about to happen, but that you are about to be flung down the stairs on a not so smooth slippery dip.
6. You will have an extremely dirty mind.
Of course, because you’re the youngest and the only girl, when your parents (and even the brothers who taught you this sort of stuff) hear it come out of your mouth, you will instantly hear “what the hell is wrong with you?”
7. They will blurt out all the things they know they did when they were younger in front of my parents, presuming I’m doing the same.
Also, so much for cool older brothers to buy you alcohol at 15. I learnt my lesson the first time.
8. You will get told “you’re not going out of the house wearing that” practically every day.
What do you mean I can’t wear shorts in summer?
9. They will be extremely OVER protective.
Compliments will never come out of their mouth and they will say the rudest, meanest things to you. But if someone else speaks to you badly, they better watch out. Oh, and apparently no guy will ever be good enough for me.
10. You will quickly realise that hanging around guys creates much less drama.
Having older brothers has honestly made me get along better with guys. (Insert girl with sausages in her mouth meme here).
11. You’re likely to get worse at things like sport as you get older.
You’d think you’d be an awesome athlete having brothers, right? Wrong. The pegging of balls, tackling and pushing has now meant that I’m not only scared, but also super uncoordinated. I can barely catch a ball, thanks boys.
12. They seem to think its okay for them to leave shaven facial hair all over the sink.
But if I leave a tampon wrapper somewhere I’m DISGUSTING!
13. You will be used as a punching bag.
14. As you get older and the age and maturity gaps are not as far of a stretch anymore, you will appreciate them more than ever.
Cheers for all the torture, the dirty mind, the over protectiveness, the dobbing, and the laughs. Oh, and I can probably attribute my excessive drinking to you guys too.
Angela van der Horst 